A letter to Moon.

Dear Moon, 

I'm not even sure what to call you. Moon. Moon Unit. Snoopy (that's what your big brother named you before you were born). New Baby (that's what me, daddy, Awesome and Christmas have all been calling you for a while now). Anyway.. Today you're 1 week old. I know 1 week doesn't seem old, at all. But to me, right now, it is. I was just pregnant with you, just in labor, just getting to see your beautiful face for the first time. And now, I've been staring at you for a whole week. 

You're incredibly loved, Moon. 

The way your daddy looks at you. The way he rocks you. The way he talks to you. The way he wanted you. The way he named you...I hope you love your name, because it means so so much to your daddy, Moon Unit Zappa Smith. 

Your brother and Sister argued over who got to hold you, the first time they saw you in the hospital. The way they smile when we carry you into the room. The way they gently touch your hands. The way they give you little kisses. I'm sure that'll all change, and you'll all be fighting over something, soon enough. But they sure do love you, and always will. 

I'm nursing you right now as I type this letter to you. This is one of my favorite things to do right now-nurse you. You're always gorgeous, but they way you look while nursing is so special. Ahh and your ears.. I loooove your little baby ears. And nose! And cheeks! And thighs! I could go on forever. The little sounds you make. You're not much of a crier. Yet. You have that new baby smell, such a good smell! 

Thank you for joining our family. I hope you like us. ;) We definitely like you! 

Love, 

Mommy

Moon Unit Zappa Smith

July 11, 2014

12:35am

8lbs 11oz

21in

<3

Moon Unit Zappa Smith

I'm currently laying in a hospital bed, cuddling with a snoozing brand new baby. New Baby Snoopy is here! Ok, but now she has a real name. Moon Unit Zappa Smith. She is 8lbs 11oz and 20in of pure adorableness. 

So who wants the "ITS GO TIME!" story!? :)

Around 7:30 on Thursday night I was getting Awesome and Christmas into bed as usual. Except neither of then would fall asleep. It got to about 8:15ish and I felt a contraction that was a little uncomfortable. I went into another room to get my phone, so I could keep track of my contractions. When I picked my phone up.. my water broke. It actually broke! I never had that happen before, and I definitely thought that maybe I just peed myself. I mean, I've been peeing myself a lot lately.. Thanks pregnancy. I called Walter right away "Hey babe. I think my water just broke. Or maybe I peed myself.." I realized that it was definitely not pee. Then I called my mom, who was already planning on coming down the next morning because we had a feeling labor was close by (we were right). Then, I get the kids out of bed, and I'm trying to tell a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 year old that mommy's water broke and new baby is coming soon. 

Some quotes from Awesome:

"We can just fix the water. How did it break?"

"Are you going to pee New Baby out right now!?"

"I'm still happy."

"So. Your water broke..." 

"Daddy, mommy's water broke!" 

Anyway.. I get my bag, and get a few things together and Walter gets home. It's go time! He tells me that he ordered pizza and we're going to swing by and grab it on our way to the hospital. I love that man. I love him so much. We stop to get the pizza and it's not ready.. So obviously we go get gas, and then come back for the pizza. Who wants to go into labor hungry!? It's hard work! We get to the ER, and I'm wheeled in, eating my pizza. We get checked in, blah blah blah.. And the kids are getting wild, running all over the place. Understandably so, it was late, they were tired, and a little hospital room isn't really a fun space for them. So our amazing friend Krys Belc was all "dude, bring them here!"  She saved the day! Daddy dropped the kids off, got back to the hospital, and then it was really go time. 12:35am we got to meet Moon! Everything went well and as planned. Drug free, and just totally great! My mom, little sister, little brother and his girlfriend all came to visit us minutes after Moon arrived. :) Awesome and Christmas are now spending a few days with my parents. Mommy and daddy are missing them like crazyyyy. I can't wait to be home, get settled, and get into our new groove. 

I love this. This is what I was made for.

Love!

A quote that I've never loved or felt so strongly about.

"It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless."- L.R. Knost

The big 0-4, and the many reasons I cry.

Awesome is almost 4. 4! 4 whole freaking years old! It really does feel like just yesterday we were staring at him in the hospital. It seems like he was just learning how to roll, sit, crawl, stand, walk, run, talk. He's a real person now. I mean, he's always been a real person, but now he's really real. He has thoughts, opinions, his own likes and dislikes. It's crazy. It's weird what little random things really make me think "holy crap, he's not a baby baby anymore". Like when he tried telling me "I don't need my banky.." when he was going to bed. Or when he said "It's a cement truck. I just called it a may-boat when I was a baby. I'm not a baby now". Or when he asked specifically to listen to Firework, by Katy Perry, and then danced his little butt off to it. Or when he says things, and I ask "how do you even know that?!". He's so smart. He knows things that we haven't taught him. He remembers things from a long time ago. He thinks about the future. He can count by 2's, write his name all by himself, crack eggs without getting shells in the bowl... He's amazing. And so, I cry. I cry because I really would like to just be able to hold and snuggle my baby forever, but I know I can't. I cry because I'm so happy with who Awesome is growing in to. I cry because I know that his feelings will get hurt (more than once, more than he'll tell me, and more than I'll be able to fix with a hug and kiss). I cry because I see the littlest bits of me in him, and it's really cool to see. I cry because I see the bond that he has with his daddy, and that's super cool to see. I cry because I get frustrated that not everything is easy. I cry because his food allergies still scare me and his eczema still gets so bad that daddy and I would do ANYTHING to take it away from him and give it to ourselves, just to give Awesome some relief. I cry because he has an imagination and uses it, and that's such a great thing. I cry because he's going to go to school soon, and that means I will get less time with him, and I will miss out on things. I know that's selfish of me, but it's how I feel. I'm kinda selfish when it comes to our babies. I also cry because I'm pregnant, and I've got some crazy hormone stuff happening. Pregnancy does that. But I also know me, and I know I'm a cryer. 

4 years.. Wow. 4 years of Walter and I being parents. 4 beautiful years. Even though I'd like to keep my baby a baby forever, I really can't wait to see who he continues to grow into. Because I know it's just going to keep getting better and better.

This parenthood thing is amazing. It's what I was put on earth to do, and it makes me so happy. Even on the hardest, sleepiest, fussiest days. For every cry, there's at least 1 hug, kiss, smile, giggle and funny thing to follow. 

Happy 4th birthday Awesome. Mommy and daddy are incredibly proud of who you are, and super thankful that we get to be your parents. We love you so freaking much, Worm.